A snowy solo getaway

My recent solo vacation was unlike any I’ve done before. I typically pack a lot into every trip, but this time around I was looking for something low key that didn’t require a lot of planning or research. I landed on Primland Resort, located in the hills of Southern Virginia. It turned out to be exactly what I wanted and more.

The digs
The resort encompasses 12,000 acres with a variety of lodging options. I stayed in the Pinnacle Cottages, a short walk from the main lodge. They also had valets who would come pick you up, which proved to be so necessary once the snow started.

My room was amazing. I had mountain views from almost every spot, including the bathroom. I went next level #treatyoself and had a bottle of wine waiting for me when I got there. It was so completely relaxing to curl up and watch the snow while enjoying a Malbec.

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The activities
The resort has a long list of activities that take full advantage of the natural landscape. After I got settled in, I immediately headed out for a run on the deserted golf cart path. The forecast called for colder weather in the following days but failed to predict the crazy amount of snow we ended up getting. I was glad to get it out of the way and make Virginia the 22nd state I’ve ran in.

My plans to hike on the final morning were derailed by the snow, with the trails completely buried and indistinguishable. Instead, I got a hot chocolate and wandered along the golf cart path with no one in sight and no sounds to be heard but stillness and snow falling. I hate winter but it was one of the most serene moments of my life, second only to when I found myself alone on the South Kaibab Trail at the Grand Canyon.

I did have a respite from the cold during my spa day. Being a #treatyoself trip, I signed up for a full body exfoliating scrub, massage, and facial. Between services, they had a relaxation room with floor to ceiling windows. I sat under a blanket and read while the snow continued to fall.

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The food
My first meal was so delicious it just about knocked me out for the rest of the weekend. Also, because I was dining alone, they offered me a complimentary Kindle. I declined but commented about what a great idea that was and how I should have brought my book. They offered to send a valet to retrieve it from my room. I declined again, but knew I was in for a special weekend after that.

The second night they had wine tasting with Blue Ridge Vineyards, based out of Winston-Salem. The red blend was so good that I’m probably ordering some to be shipped to me. After that, I dined at the pub, which was more casual but super tasty food.

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Charlotte pit stop
I could have stayed at Primland forever, but I had a chance to check out Charlotte (where I flew in/out of) so I headed south for my final night. My host managed to pack in some of my favorite things: local beer, string lights, rooftop views, and bourbon. We stopped in Sycamore Brewing, went to a Hornets game, and then took in the rooftop vibes of Fahrenheit.

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Photo by Corey Gensler (aka my host)

Overall, it was a pretty amazing weekend and one that took me by surprise in a lot of ways. It’s good to know I can let myself slow down and truly relax.

 

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On being alone

EXT. VALTER’S OSTERIA. EVENING.

A WOMAN in her early 30s sits alone at a table on the patio. She’s waiting for her bill and slipping into the early stages of a carb coma, having just enjoyed a delicious meal at one of the top rated restaurants in Salt Lake City. A group of men walk by, led by UNNAMED ASSHOLE.

UNNAMED ASSHOLE
“Why are you alone?”

The woman looks over, confused.

WOMAN
“What? What’s wrong with being alone?”

Unnamed Asshole looks at his friends, laughs, and shakes his head in disbelief.

UNNAMED ASSHOLE
“Are you serious?”

His friends join in the laughter and keep walking. The woman sits in silence, her rage boiling below the surface. The waiter places her bill on the table.

THE END.

 

On my recent trip to Salt Lake City, I arrived a couple days before my friends who I was meeting in town. I’m a big advocate for solo vacations and even wrote about tips for traveling alone after my first time doing it. (Note to self: Write a part two. That trip was 6 years ago and I’ve come a long way since then… literally!) So, it wasn’t unusual for me to explore a destination on my own.

When the scene above played out on my first night in SLC, I was so pissed off at Unnamed Asshole, and then later pissed off at myself for giving him any reaction at all.

I’ve reached a point where I’m pretty comfortable doing anything alone: Eating at a restaurant, going to a movie, hiking, etc. If I waited around for someone to do all those things with me, I might never leave my apartment. That’s not to say I don’t have any friends. Just that people aren’t always available, or they don’t want to do the same thing as me, or sometimes I just want a break from people. Basically, I never let being alone hold me back from experiencing life.

When people tell me they could never imagine doing these things alone, I often wonder if it’s because they’re uncomfortable being alone with themselves. I don’t want to put myself in the position of judging them the way they judge me, but it reeks of insecurity. I imagine they’re worried about people thinking they’re a loser, worried about being bored, worried about being alone with their thoughts (oh wait, that last one applies to me, too). I picture them face down in their cell phone safety net should they ever end up in public alone.

But a funny thing happens when you decide to embrace doing things on your own: You can have a ton of fun! It’s freeing to be able to do whatever you want with no one to answer to. You pick the restaurant. You pick the movie. You pick the travel destination. Doesn’t that sound great? Doing whatever you want?

And sometimes, because you’re forced to pay attention to your surroundings more, rather than stay in the comforting bubble of your friend group, you can have some really unique experiences. I’ll never forget one night in South Haven when I ended up bar hopping with two travelers I met while eating dinner. At every stop, we picked up more people and ended the night dancing on a boat. Sure, that could have happened with a group of friends or a boyfriend (assuming they have the same mindset), but I was more open to that experience because I was alone.

I’ve had some super fun trips with friends (no boyfriends, yet), including the rest of my time in Salt Lake City. I don’t want to take away from those experiences by any means, but I really cherish the trips I’ve taken alone. And I’m already thinking about where I’ll go next. I’m getting the international itch again so it might be time for my first solo experience overseas.

As I replay my conversation with Unnamed Asshole, I wonder about his motivation for saying anything at all to a total stranger. I can guarantee this scenario would not have happened if I were male. And sure, maybe he thought I was too attractive to be eating alone (for the record, I don’t think that). But that implies I can’t exist without someone else. And clearly he wasn’t considering the many factors that may have led to me sitting there alone. But none of those would have mattered either. He doesn’t deserve an explanation. It doesn’t fucking matter why I’m alone.

And I will never get an explanation as to why he’s an asshole, though I have a few guesses. In the meantime, cheers to you, Unnamed Asshole. May you feel better about yourself having confronted the woman sitting alone.

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